Start Blog online dating horror stories

Blog online dating horror stories

Black women specifically, the research showed, were at the very bottom of the barrel, receiving the fewest messages and likes from all races of men, and the least amount of responses to outgoing messages.

Many I’m not even comfortable sharing in this essay. I automatically deleted the app and haven’t been there since.

So there's no real sense of the taboo when it comes to dating online.

I created my first online profile in 2013 on Ok Cupid, a tiny baby step into unfamiliar territory with no real set goal in mind.

“I believe that’s what you see in the data here.” The narrative about black women and dating, about our lack of desirability and dateability, has been one I’ve actively tried to unlearn, despite a constant, nagging feeling that the reason I couldn’t get a date was because of the so-called stigma.

But in my first major foray into the world of online dating, what struck me wasn’t so much this idea of not being wanted, but the kind of men who apparently wanted me. But from day one, I got tons of messages, many of them one or two word lines like, “Hey sexy,” and a larger majority of them reading, “Hey chocolate.” These weren’t worth the energy it took to respond. Gradually, I began to notice a theme — the majority of the messages I received, mostly from white men, fetishized my appearance and sexualized me based solely on my race. In the three years I’ve been on Ok Cupid, I’ve only met up with a handful of people, mostly because it’s been impossible to meet anyone who doesn’t open or end conversations with offensive, racist, sexually aggressive language.

All in the Family"It was my first time trying online dating, and I was nervous but excited.

I filled out all the personal info they asked for and obsessively checked back for my matches.

Recently, Ok Cupid released data on race and attraction amongst its users, which revealed messed up but unsurprising realities about how people navigated the site.